Thursday, April 29, 2010

Flash Back Friday

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If you would like to participate & link up click here to go to Christopher & Tia's Page.

I have been looking back at my pregnancy.. Shiloh's old Nursery.. the day we brought her home.. oh the memories. I can't wait to experience it again one day with another child.

30 weeks pregnant

The day we met our Princess for the first time in person

Shiloh's old Nursery.. I miss that most about our old house :-(
 
Getting ready to take her home from the hospital.

I love looking back at pictures of when we first met this little miracle.. I am still so grateful to have her in our lives. She is the greatest gift we have ever received. I love my baby girl & I love being a mommy❤

Smart Cookie

So Shiloh has always been very advance for her age. She starts EVERYTHING {teething, talking, sleeping in a big girl bed, yadda yadda} Well she can now count along with me all the way to 10. I think she is so gifted & she loves to learn. She is going to be starting school two days a week in mid May & I know she is going to blow them out of the water with all her knowledge. We have gone back & forth for a while now on weather or not we wanted to put her in school.. but she is so ready! She loves it when we tour a school.. its like who are these people {Stephen & I} & why are they trying to take me away from this cool place LOL. I feel so blessed to have such an amazing daughter!!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Top 2 Tuesday



Top 2 Favorite Things About Summer:

1: Sunny Days out by the pool! Since most of the year it is raining here in Washington we love our sunny days & summer is filled with them!


2. Going to watch the Mariner's play at Safeco Field

Monday, April 26, 2010

Confusion

Self Confidence.. oh how that word haunts me. I am not one to have self confidence I never have.. weather it be my body, in work, my writing abilities, when has come to meeting new people or interest in men. I just don't have it.. I try so hard to act as though I do but I don't.. at least not the self confidence that I want to have.

So I signed up to be my own boss through a new company selling beauty products.. once I had talked to my friend about how well she was doing & all the awesome benefits the company has to offer I was sold.. & thrilled to finally make some money doing something I know I would love. After a few days reality has set in now.. I am so scared of failing, of not achieving the goals I want & for me to not have the self confidence that I know I need.

Its really frustrating to feel this way. Its like once I talk to someone from the company I get excited all over then.. when I sit down & look at all that is involved I am so overwhelmed that I just don't want to go any further. I don't like feeling this way.. I don't like feeling confused on what I should do or how I should feel. I am so scared at failing & I am even more afraid to invest & it not be a positive career path for me. I keep telling my self that I can do this that I do have what it takes.. then in the back of my mind I am left questioning myself... ugh!

I also have a job interview on Wednesday morning in Seattle working for a medical company making pretty good money.. I have already passed all their assessments so that is a good thing.. but now again I am worried that going to the interview is a waste. I am scared that I won't have what they are looking for or that since I have been staying home for the last two years they will be scared to hire me.. I am also scared that all the events we have coming up will prevent me from accepting the job, then there is also the worry of what if I get pregnant & can't work then I wasted their time & what if I continue to work until we have the baby then find I no longer want to? We know that Shiloh is ready for school & that she will love it.. but will I love not spending my days with her?? I am so scared & confused right now..

To continue staying home caring for Shiloh & babysitting on the side..
To stay home & also sell beauty products on my own terms...
or
To return to working a full time job??

These are the questions I have in my mind & I am having such  hard time deciding.. why do something have to be so difficult?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

SOOC Saturday ~ The Straight Out of Camera Image




Slurping Life

Follow along each Saturday with Straight Out Of Camera started by Slurping Life
What it is you take a photo  straight out of the camera No Editing allowed. 
Then head over to Slurping Life & link up.

 Shiloh Rose.. my angel.. I love this picture.. she is so happy in it.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Flashback Friday

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If you would like to participate & link up click here to go to Christopher & Tia's Page.

So right now I am dying of laughter.. not sure if my dear brother in law Andrew is going to kill me or love that I am using this picture. But oh well.
So for a while last year I was on this binge of buying fake hair.. LOL my hair has been pretty short for a few years now so I go through my times of wanting it to be longer so I would buy clip in hair extensions LOL.
This one is the first one I bought.. it is a Jessica Simpson hair clip in & it was a joke around my in laws when I bought it. Everyone tried it on... but I had to post this one of Andrew in it because he I love his face & the fact that he is holding the dog.. it just cracks me up!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Blue Eyed Monkey

I love photoshop & all the neat things I can do to enhance pictures.. This is one of my favorite pictures of my niece Kylie.

Before:

After:

Love what you do & do what you love

So for a long long time now I have wanted to get back into the beauty field. I love all things beauty: Make-up, facial's, hair, fashion.. you name it.. I love it! I have been looking into all avenues of how to get into the field & start a career but still maintain my home life & spend my days with my girl.

One of my friends who I used to work with back in Reno & I used to watch her daughter works for Mary Kay. I was noticing a lot of positive post & comments on her FB page so me of course wanted to know more. I have always wanted to work for Mary Kay I just thought the start up cost were going to be tremendous.. well I was wrong. So I told my friend I wanted to know more. So we chatted on the phone she told me all the amazing things starting your own business has to offer & how wonderful of a company it was & I was sold. So I told the hubby {okay asked} that I was going to sign up & get this thing started. He was excited for me as he always is.. I love the support he gives.

So if you know me you know that I love make-up.. & that I have been thinking of going to school to be an esthetician.. well my dream of making others feel as beautiful as they are is over.. I am officially an Independent Mary Kay Consultant & I couldn't be more excited.

I just signed up yesterday & today I am going to have my orientation & I can't wait to learn more. I feel so excited right now to be doing something that I have wanted to do for so long & that its my own business.. meaning my schedule, my own clients & how I want to run things & that is just awesome because as most people know I love to be in charge :-)

I am so excited for this new chapter in my life to begin & to start meeting some amazing women & doing something I passionate about. Like the saying goes.. "Love what you do & do what you love" & that is for sure what I am doing :-)

Once I get everything rolling I will let you all know!

Wordless Wednesday


My sweet baby when she was only 4 months old. This was taken at Babies R Us in Florida. I can't believe that she is 19 months now.. time goes to fast!!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Busy Bee

So I haven't been babbling much lately.. just have had a lot of things going on I guess. I started the fertility which has made me an emotional wreak.. then last week Shiloh started to get sick.. then I was hit with Allergies AGAIN!! Then this weekend we spent most of our time trying to purchase a new car only to find that we should hold off for now so we can get exactly what we want. Then today I was informed by Shannon that they are not going to need me right now to watch Brandon after this week. So just a lot of craziness!! So I have been resting, caring for kids, working with car sales men & now job searching like crazy. Its been pretty busy around here.

On a positive note Shiloh has been sleeping in her bed EVERY night now since we purchased her toddler bed & she loves it. No luck with getting pregnant yet I may have to have them up my fertility because I am not ovulating which I should have by now I think?? Other then that I have been seeing what is out there as far as jobs & babysitting. I am also looking into returning to school to get certified in medical billing so I can do that.. so will see what happens there.

Lately I have been in this really weird funk of having no motivation.. I don't know if it is the fertility or just something I am going through but I really don't like it. I want to get things done but when it comes time to do them I find other things to do instead.. which is not good. Also I have been so exhausted.. so that doesn't help either.

Today I brought B to our house so I could get some things done around here & to apply for jobs. My sister in law is coming to stay the night with the kids tomorrow so I need to get my house ready.. {its so messy right now}.

But as of next week I will not have B any longer during the week.. sniff sniff. Shiloh & I are going to miss spending our days with him, its a good thing Shannon & I have become close so we can still visit & have play dates. In time they will need a sitter again.. so I know then I will have my days back with him if I don't find something else before then.

So that pretty much sums up what is happening with us. Hopefully soon we will receive some good news because we are in need of it & I think its about time for us since it has been a long time since we have had any really good news come our way.

I am learning to be be patient & to take things for what they are.. its not easy playing the waiting game.. but I just have to be thankful for ALL I do have & stop worrying so much about what we don't have. Life is too short right?

Monday, April 19, 2010

Post-It-Note-Tuesday


Here Goes:

Top 2 Tuesday




1. I love cheap flip flops. I do have a few reef's that I love but I have a ton of cheep flip flops in all different colors.


2. Chapstick.. I seem to always have chapped lips so I always have to have some on hand at all times.

Not Me Monday




Well I finally learned how to make over my blog with my own creation & make it my own.. I have been learning more and more about HTML & how to work my photoshop. But it most certainly is NOT ME who has made over her blog more then once this week or even this month. I mean I would never have so much fun with this blog layout creation thing that I would spend hours on it & even stay up way past my bed time to get it perfect.. I mean who does that.. NOT ME!!

We have been eating out A LOT.. more then any person should.. its so unhealthy & expensive.. but it is NOT ME who refuses to cook lately.. I mean I love to cook so why would I stop wanting too? It is also NOT ME who has her hubby cook on the nights we don't eat out.. I would never ask my hard working hubby to come home & cook for us.. No Way Jose.. that is my job right?

Well this is my Not Me Monday.. now head over to MckMama to read some more or to post your own Not Me Monday to share as well.








Saturday, April 17, 2010

SOOC Saturday ~ The Straight Out of Camera Image

Slurping Life

Follow along each Saturday with Straight Out Of Camera started by Slurping Life
What it is you take a photo  straight out of the camera No Editing allowed. 
Then head over to Slurping Life & link up.


This is Shiloh on mornings that we don't have to be up early. This is Shiloh in her NEW IKEA chair that she loves.. while at the cardiologist a few weeks back they had this same chair.. she loved it. So being the spoiled princess she is.. Daddy wanted to buy it for her.. okay I did as well. This is Shiloh with her Milky, her Kylie's {all her babies are named Kylie like her cousin} & yes those are Shiloh's Trix Cereal ALL over my living room floor. Every time I give her cereal this is what she does.. but I still continue to give it to her.. she eventually either picks them all up putting them back in her bowl or she eats them.. then later in the day I vacuum to get the crumbs..

So this is My Shiloh on a regular morning doing her regular routine of being my messy sweet loving girl❤

Friday, April 16, 2010

Little Miss Independent!

So my dear sweet 18 month old is turning into quite the big girl. She loves her new bed. In fact for 5 nights straight now she has slept through the night in her own bed. When its time to go night night we tell her lets brush our teeth & then get in our big girl bed & she gets up & walks to the stairs. She also now lets me know when she is ready for bed or a nap too.

Today she got up from playing grabbed pink {her blanket} & went up the stairs & was shaking the gate. So I let her through & she ran to her room & starting shaking the gate on her door so I put her in her room. She looks back at me & says "nigh nigh" climbs in her bed & covers herself up & goes "Muah". I was in such shock.. for someone who would scream & cry & throw everything out of her crib that she could & then would scream for as long as possible until we saved her from going to nigh nigh in her crib.. to telling me its nigh nigh time.. is amazing!

I feel so much better each day now that I don't have to share my bed with her or have to get up at night & save her from her bed. The girl LOVES her new toddler bed & I couldn't be more excited & proud. She is becoming so independent {just like me} & I love it but at the same time it makes me sad. She is growing way too fast!! I want her to stay my sweet baby forever.

Shiloh is Little Miss Independent that is for sure❤

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Flashback Friday

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If you would like to participate & link up click here to go to Christopher & Tia's Page.

This is my 2nd week of FF & I have to say I LOVE it! 
Here goes.. it's a long story:

The picture I am sharing this week was taken Christmas 1998.. this was rough month for me. I think about a week before Christmas I was in a horrible accident. I never used to were my seat belt.. I mean none of the cool kids did RIGHT? Well I learned a very hard lesson this year. I was dating a boy who begged me to drive my car, mind you he didn't have a license.. I was the type of girlfriend & person who never wanted to upset anyone so I always gave in weather I wanted to or not.. but this was one of those times were I should not have & I should have listen to my gut feeling.. but of course being 17 & in puppy love I thought why not we are just going a couple of blocks away. Well not even 2 blocks away he went through the light hitting another car head on & I in return went through the windshield because I was not wearing my seat belt & well my boyfriend & I were in a panic & he told me we had to switch seats before the cops arrived & me being seriously injured & in shock went with it.. him telling me I would be in serious trouble didn't help either. But again me being the nieve nice girl agreed. 

Now all this sounds horrible & yes it was a very traumatic experience for me & for every one involved.. but I think the person who was scared to death the most was my sister. You see she was driving down the same street.. the street they had to close down for hours because of our accident.. & well she saw my car & had her boyfriend pull over.. she told the police that it was my car & he said that all he could tell her was all parties went to Winter Park Hospital. So of course my poor sister seeing my car demolished & that they had to use the jaws of life to get me out, imagined the worst. Once she arrived to the hospital {I was still in shock & it is still all a blur to me} she came in my room & saw that my face was half gone & freaked out "OMG Missy are you okay?".. my reaction "Sorry about your shirt". I was wearing her boyfriends shirt & it was covered in blood. After a getting most the glass out of my head, eyes, hair & odd places.. scans & test I was released to my aunt. My parents were at a Christmas Party & didn't find out till later what had happened. 

The worst part of this story is that I lied to everyone.. I kept up the story that I was driving for years.. I think until I was 21 or something.. I was terrified of how disappointed my family would be in me & I was scared that I would be in BIG trouble. Once I told them it was a huge relief & my mom said that she new deep down that I wasn't driving.. I hated lying to her.. it was a very depressing thing for me.

So I learned a lot of lessons in this: A: Do not let anyone drive your car, B: Don't lie because it is the worst feeling in the world & C: ALWAYS wear your seat belt. My mom always has told me that accidents happen within 20 miles of the home.. & man was she right. So here is the picture of my lovely face on Christmas.. its a good reminder to me of how grateful I am that I am here today & that nothing worse happened.

It is something that I am going to share with my kids & others, because most people always think that it won't happen to them.. but it could. My face is normal now for the most part.. I do have a scars that like to come out when I get sun on my face but over the years it has faded. I have nerve damage in my right eye so my eye doesn't open as much as my left & shards of glass got into my eyes so it has caused some damage with my sight as well. They thought I was going to need plastic surgery but I just caked on the Vitamin E & made sure to stay out of the sun for the most part. The scar's are a constant reminder to me of hard lessons learned. The worst parts were going to Reno to visit my Dad for New Years & having a mom point out to her kids that I was a prefect example as to what happens when you don't were your seat belt. {I get why she did it but she humiliated me} Then the biggest let down was returning home to find my boyfriend the one who was driving my car.. was cheating on me.. so yes it was a rough time for me but it all made me so much stronger as a person & I thank my lucky stars for sure!

I Heart Thursday's





I am participating in this weeks I "heart"... at You and Me Plus Three. Go there now to add yours and read others!!
 
I ❤ that my family, friends & I are in good health.
I ❤ the sun & how great it feels to have sun on my face.

I ❤ having great friends to spend time with.
 
I ❤ this picture of Olivia passed out on the couch.. it makes me laugh every time I see it:




I ❤ that I have now learned how to create my own blog page.. even though it is so time consuming!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Monday, April 12, 2010

Shiloh's New Big Girl Room

So if you read my post from yesterday {She Will ALWAYS Be My Baby Girl} you would know that Shiloh is now in a toddler bed. So we decided to give her room a new look.. something I have been dying to do!! I wanted something bright & colorful & fun. So with the bedding we found at Target {love that store} they also had these really cute stickers for the wall & since we don't own were we live painting isn't an option so finding these were super awesome!! I made a border around the room & hung her pictures {finally} along with a new one that also matches her bed. Oh I love it & I can't wait till we buy a house again & I and paint too. I also am going to revamp her dresser here soon when we have a nice day again & I have someone to watch the monkey. So stay tuned will share that soon.

Here is Shiloh's New Big Girl Room:

Not Me Monday





So I missed last week because we were at my in laws still from Easter.. sorry about that.

But this week well let me share..

For Easter my sister in law "Laura a.k.a Lo" made the kids Easter Baskets this year. {We take turns} Well as they were all going through their baskets I noticed Shiloh was having a melt down so it was Not Me who had to capture her in her moment of melting down.. it is also Not Me who has fallen in love with the picture & wants to actually frame it & put it up in my house.. I mean what mom takes a picture of their child throwing a fit & wants to share it with the world.. Not This Mom:


Shiloh is a sneaky little bugger these days.. she knows that having candy in the house is rare.. she knows that mama {me} always throws it out after a couple of days because if not she {me} will eat it all. So she was on the hunt this week.. anytime she found an egg {which we for some reason have them ALL over our house} she opens it & stuffs her mouth full of jelly beans or what ever candy is in it super fast before I can get it. Yeah that is my 18 month old. But it was Not Me who new she was up to no good & allowed it anyways.. nope I didn't sit there & take these pictures of her stuffing her face full of jelly beans.. I mean what mom allows her baby to eat candy?? Nope Not I!!



Shiloh has been taking late naps lately.. she hasn't been sleeping well because if you read my post from yesterday {She Will ALWAYS Be My Baby Girl} you will see what our sleeping issues are. But the other day it was Not Me who had to take another cute picture of my grumpy girl when she had awoken from her nap before she wanted to. I mean first of all I would never allow my child to take a nap after 3 PM or sleep till after 5 PM.. & then wake her child up because its dinner time.. No Way I am not that mean of a mommy!!
Thanks for visiting my Not Me Monday now head over to MckMama's blog & link up yours or read more Not Me Monday's posted by other bloggers.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

She Will ALWAYs Be My Baby Girl

So since shiloh was born we have had the hardest time getting her to sleep in a bassinet, crib & playpen. It's been a back & forth battle that has put a lot of strain on us. Shiloh will cry at night in her crib.. sometimes I let her cry for an hour sometimes a little less. Other times she falls asleep after crying so long but only for a few hours & then wakes up screaming.. so into our bed she goes. I have tried EVERYTHING!! I have let her fall asleep on the couch with us then we put her in her bed & then she will wake up almost always in the middle of the night crying again. We have tried letting her just cry & cry & cry & it just never stops so what do we end up doing.. bringing her in our bed. Some nights we are lucky & we get a full nights sleep & our beds to ourselves but not always like it should be. I can't remember the last night I had a good nights sleep.. or my back didn't hurt from only getting a smidge of the bed because Shiloh has decided to sleep horizontal in the bed. I can't remember having a week where I didn't wake up to a foot in my face.. kick in the ribs.. or her head butting me. The bigger she gets the worse it is. Don't get me wrong I love snuggling my baby.. I love that she hates being away from us.. but I also love sleep & to be comfortable while I sleep.

So we have gone back and forth since she turned a year old about converting her to a bed.. the questions that we have been replaying are like a broken record: "Is she too young still" "Should we just fight it a little longer" "We need to be stronger about not getting her" "Do we get her a toddler bed, convert her crib or just get her a twin bed" "Are we bad parents because we can't get her to sleep in her bed" "Do we spoil her" "If we get her a bed then this means she isn't a baby anymore doesn't it" so now not only have I been loosing sleep because sharing the bed or being woken up to her crying but now I have been having anxiety that keeps me up late & questions & thoughts replaying in my head.

So we finally decided it was time. Time for Shiloh to have a big girl bed.. we have been looking at different ideas for the last few months & today we went & looked again & had her test them out & she was quite the trooper. I must say if she had it completely her way she would get a bunk bed because she loved those for sure.. but they scare me & I don't want a bed that big in my baby girls room. We thought about a twin bed but they were all so high she would have a heck of a time getting in & out. We really were going to get her a daybed with a trundle bed so when she had sleep overs with Olivia or her cousin or for days I had B at our house there would be an extra bed.. but it just seemed like a big bed for her & it was pretty expensive because I wanted the wood one of course. In the end we ended up getting her a simple cute toddler bed from Target. It was inexpensive & we ended up finding some really cute bedding to go with it.

Once Stephen was done putting it together we let Shiloh in to see what she thought & this was her reaction:


So a new milestone has started. Shiloh is no longer a baby.. she is officially a toddler in her sweet toddler bed with her sweet self. Lets cross our fingers she will now sleep in her room in her bed & allow us to have a our bed to ourselves now.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Unconditional Love

I was going through my photo's & I found this one. Shiloh was only 6 month old here. I have to say this is one of my favorite pictures of her. It captures all her beauty. We had just moved to Seattle from Portland & I think her & I were just laying on the bed having girl talk {we have a special language} & I love still to this day doing that with her.. having conversation that only she understand.. it so special to me. I love her brown eyes & how round they are & her skin that looks & is so so soft. Her smile that is so contagious & her presence this is so beautiful. I love this child of mine I love all the joy & happiness she has brought into my life. There is no greater love then the love a mother has for her child❤

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