Wednesday, October 27, 2010

30 Day's Of Truth Day 6


 Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do

Well one thing I never have to do is something I know I will have to do & dread the day it happens. I hope to never have to say good bye to my parents, sister, husband or children or my extended family. The very thought of it makes my heart ache. I can't even imagine having to do so. Ugh it hurts.. makes me want to cry & makes me want to hold on to them forever & never let go.

I don't like death. I don't like at all!! I wish we could all live forever!! I have had to say good bye to loved ones in the past & it is so hard. My first death was the little girl who lived next door to me Alexis. She was just a baby, one year old.. she drowned in her pool. I have blogged about her before: Memories of Alexis. It was the worse thing at that point in my life that I had ever had to deal with. Then my art teacher Mrs. Canon. She was an amazing person.. she helped me find an outlet from a lot of pain I was dealing with as a child. I loved her & admired her & I miss her so. She died from a drunk driver who hit her as she was driving herself to the hospital from her horse trampling her. Then in 2000 an ex-boyfriend of mine died of an overdose we weren't together & we hadn't talked in years but it still hurt & still makes me so sad to this day. Then after that the next big death was my Step Grandfather... that was hard really hard & then in 2008 my Great Grandma Dotty & Granny passed & I am still healing from that. I didn't get to say good bye to my grandparents or great grandma & that was hard.. I hadn't seen them in years & that I made me regret not visiting family more often.

Since then I haven't had anyone pass that was super close to me. But I am still coping with past deaths & trying to understand why they had to leave us. I know death is apart of life.. but I don't like it & I don't want it to take my loved ones.. so that is what I hope for to never have to say goodbye to another loved every again.. but I know that is not possible.. & that makes my heart ache.

Here is the list of Questions I am to answer honestly for the next 30 days..

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

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