Friday, February 11, 2011

..I Lost My Marbles..or..It Feels That Way..

So today has been one of THOSE days! It started off on a bad note & has continued ALL DAY!! First Shiloh woke up with a lot to say so I couldn't sleep while she watched toons {I know bad mommy but I have had a rough few nights so cut me some slack}, then baby woke up from her chatting so much. Then I couldn't find the cute bows I bought for Gabriella from Etsy & I got all stressed & flustered over it. I searched EVERYWHERE for them.. but gave up. I left the house with the girls looking super cute.. but me HA!! I was wearing sweets & my hair was just thrown back together & zero makeup! You definitely can tell I have had some long sleepless nights lately :(

We had to get out today to bring Stephen the Macbook so he could correct somethings on our taxes to file them. Then I needed to get to Target to get my project for V-Day from the Girls to Stephen. While visiting Stephen the girls were great, happy cute & no crying. Well.. that all changed when we got to Target. I could tell Gabriella was pissed because she was tired & couldn't sleep. Shiloh hurt her foot last night when climbing over the arm of the couch she so has a limp & walks slower then a turtle but fought with me about riding in the cart. Then while walking through the store Shiloh decided she wants to play the I am scared of all men card .. so she started freaking out when she had to walk by this elderly man. Then of course she is taking everything off the shelves & putting in the cart. We had to fight about V-Day cards because she was not understanding that she already has them & sent them out. Then of course once I have the cart almost full she wants to ride in the cart so I had to totally rearrange everything. At this time Gabriella starts screaming so I think she has a poohie diaper so we go into the family bathroom {Thank you Target for providing these} to change her. While in there Shiloh knows not to touch anything but of course what is she doing TOUCHING EVERYTHING!! I think she flushed the toilet at least 10 times. Then she decided to take her coat off & throw it on the nasty bathroom floor.. so I asked her to pick it up & of course her selective hearing kicks in. All this is happening while Gabriella is screaming & I am changing her. Well then Shiloh joins in on the crying because I finally yelled at her to pick her coat up. So then we head back to our cart Shiloh is crying "Hold You" & of course "I can't I have baby in her car seat in hand & my diaper bag". So of course everyone is staring at me probably thinking "WOW this mom has her hands full". So I just make a bee line for the check out without getting the rest of what I wanted. While in check out Gabriella starts screaming even more & is now making my boobies hurt. The check out lady wants to have a conversation about how her two year old used to cry like that so that is why she sleeps her with her & now her son. {I am thinking really I would love to share stories but not when both my kids are screaming} Shiloh then sees the Starbucks that is in Target & starts crying for a Chocolate Milk. I tell her not today.. the check out lady tries to distract her by offering a sticker, Shiloh takes it & I tell her to say "Thank You" she refuses so I give the sticker back & the check out lady says "Good for you mom for sticking to your guns" while I am thinking "how embarrassing my child is so rude!" We then head to the car & babies start screaming even louder.. I go to put Shiloh in the car & she is arching her back so I can't get her buckled in.. Gabriella is still in the cart {which makes me nervous in the parking lot} I am fighting with Shiloh & I finally manage to over power her strength & get her buckled in. I shut the door & I see this man walking by & he says "You are doing a great job" I of course say "Thank You" & it makes me feel a little better. I get Gabriella in & sit & feed her while Shiloh screams her head off about the chocolate milk. I try to have a conversation with her on how we ask for things & how we don't throw a fit when we don't get our way, but of course she just proceeded to get more angry. After about 10 min she calms down once she sees a dog in another car. I finish feeding the baby & Shiloh starts up again about the chocolate milk. Then of course because Shiloh is crying Gabriella starts crying so my entire 20 min ride home was full of two babies screaming.. Shiloh screaming so much it sounded like she was going to explode. Gabriella finally gave up & went to sleep about 5 min away from the house, but Shiloh of course did not. I almost drove straight back to Stephen's work to tell him you get her to calm down.. but I didn't. I kept my cool made it home, up the sidewalk with my screaming two year old about chocolate milk. We get inside & they both start again.. this is were I am going FML because I can't win. I give in & give the child her chocolate milk. I feed Gabriella some more stored milk & then both kids are happy.. but I am left stressed & about to have a break down from all the crying & I swear I almost lost my marbles!!

We took a nap after all that & Shiloh is in much better spirits but of course she still has to make my life a lot of work. Her new thing is to take her diaper off when she pooh's & of course does this at the worst of moments like when I am nursing or pumping or baby is screaming. Then Gabriella I swear has colic because I can't win with her lately. She is either still starving after 4 oz or just uncomfortable. I have been watching what I eat & making sure I don't have things that could or would upset her but I feel like its not working. So I don't know what it is???

That is my day so far.. its getting better but I feel so overwhelmed & these are the days that I wish I lived near my family or close friends so I could call them & ask for help! But I know I was meant to be a mom & that I can handle the stress of it all.. but today made me question that & that makes me sad.

Oh & I was wanting to go back to Target tonight to finish what I needed.. but hubby just texted me saying its going to be a late one.. boo today is not the day for that!!


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