Thursday, October 31, 2013

I am Blessed


Last month I started really getting back to my faith. This entire year I have tried to get  back to it.. I felt lost. I felt alone & I felt like I was in this super dark place & that I just needed to find my faith again.

When you lose a loved one(s) so tragically its hard to accept. To deal, to forgive & to understand. For me I lost my faith.. I was angry. I was questioning why God would ever do this.. why would he take such a beautiful life away & her unborn child!

Then we moved to Texas. I started  looking for outlets.. I tried to get back to my sewing, I tried to start up my photography business here, I started drinking more & then I started feeling hopeless often. I felt like if something bad was going to happen it was going to happen to us to our family. In February I found out my dad had liver cancer, in July I found out my Papa (my mom's dad) has Alzheimer's, then the house we were trying to buy fell through, money was so tight I didn't know how we would make ends met, we were homeless & we just asking WHY? when we had lost so much already These illness, the let downs, the financial struggles again placed me/us in this dark place of feeling hopeless. After taking in all this news I told my husband we need to go to church more, we need to find some good in all this. I need to find me again, I need to find my faith again & I need to resort all this hopelessness with my faith & prayer. I decided I was no longer going to take on the challenge of reinventing my photography here in San Antonio, that I wasn't going to force my self to sit down & sew, that I wasn't going to waste more time & money on trying to sell Scentsy & Intitials, I told myself & made a promise to me that I was going to start focusing on what matters most. My family, My self & My faith.

We started going to church every Sunday & I started listening to the message at church. I started talking to him, praying to him & I started feeling this light at the end of this dark tunnel. I started feeling free & good & happy & I was excited, but I wanted more.

I then was asked to go with my sister in law to our churches MOPS group. I was nervous, I was unsure if I would fit in & I was scared. But I told myself its time to try new things, meet new people & to be more involved. So I went. Instantly I felt welcomed, wanted & apart of something special. Everyone was so open to having me there & so friendly.

One of my MOPS group mom's really just embraced me.. has always made it a point to talk with me, to say hello at mass & church activities. I have just felt this huge need to know her.

A few's week's back I started adding some of the mom's from my MOPS group into my Facebook world.. at first I was nervous because to some, I tend to over share on Facebook & maybe I do but like my blog its my outlet.. & its my safe place to say what I am feeling. But I honestly felt like I needed to let them know who I was without having to come out & say.. "Hi I am Melissa, I am a mother of three, wife to an amazing man & I am learning to live again after loss" I mean who says that ha! But I wanted them to know that I joined MOPS & I go every time because it helps me. It makes me feel like there is so much more then sadness & darkness in this life & that there are good people out there. I wanted them to know that I may appear put together but that I was secretly falling apart or at least trying to put myself back together. I didn't realize this fully until a few days ago that I needed people to know me.. the real me & our story.. because what people share & show on social media is most defiantly not the full story most of the time.

At our churches festival she made it a point to come say hello to me, at the moment I felt like WOW she remembers me, & WOW how kind of her to come over & say hello & ask how I was & it made me feel good. Then at church in the nursery she came over again & said hello & introduced herself to my husband. Then earlier this week she reached out to me on Facebook & asked for my number, so she could keep in touch with me. She also sent prayers to me & my family on Tuesday the anniversary of Sandra & Sierra's death & it just meant so much to me.

Then this morning.. I saw a missed call from her.. I listen to her message & her words really stuck to my heart.. "Hi Melissa, I just wanted to visit with you a little bit" I am not sure why but I got choked up. I stepped outside to call her back, she was instantly so friendly & so easy to talk with. She wanted to know more about me, she wanted to share her story & she told me that she has been very drawn to me. She said she has read my post, my blog & felt like she had this calling. She asked me if I was going to the ACTS Retreat this year & I explained that I was suppose to be on the waiting list since it filled up the first week. She said well, I know I told you I have wanted to go for some time but for some reason I don't feel its my time. I am signed up but I feel like I am suppose to give you my place to go & she asked if I would be able to do that. I was speechless. I felt like I was being offered the lottery but it was better then money it was an amazing gift.. It was like a golden ticket to the chocolate factory but in fact it was so much more. I wanted to scream in excitement & cry all at the same time. Her kindness, her loving spirit & her need to help me meant more then any money, meant more then all the chocolate in the world & it was a true blessing & gift.

I am still sitting here in awe over how amazing this woman is. I feel so blessed to be able to know such a giving, caring & loving person. I am still in shock over her kindness, her words & the gift she has offered me. I don't know if there is ever going to be enough to show her how truly grateful I am.

To be able to go on this retreat would be the most amazing thing. To be able to met, grow & learn with other women of my faith, I know will better me as a person, will heal the broken feeling inside, will fulfill all lost hope & will bring me closer to God.

I don't think I have ever been show such kindness from someone I just met. I didn't know that meeting her would bring so much joy to my life. I am forever grateful for her kindness & for showing me that their are true angels here on earth watching over us & who are drawn to us in some way or another. I know that God placed her in my life for great reason & this is just one of those reasons & I can't wait to grow our friendship & to give back to her someday the gift she has given to me. I am forever thankful to this women & I feel so honored to know her.




Thank You 4 The LOVE

So I went to log into my blog last night & look at my stats.. I have to say I have a love hate relationship with my blog. I love writing & let out what is going in mel mel land.. but sometimes I am like freak! I have no time! or What do I write.. am I boring.. but then tonight I logged in & saw this

Pageviews today
23
Pageviews yesterday
63
Pageviews last month
904
Pageviews all time history
50,012

I mean gasp!! really!! 50,012 page views. I mean I have been blogging since 2009 or 2010 I should say. I never started blogging to earn money & I still don't earn money. I simply started to share my stories. Weather they are sad, happy, boring or silly. I love to write even though I am horrible at spelling & with grammar. I feel like my life is nothing out of the ordinary but for some reason people are drawn to my blog which makes me feel all special inside.. not in a kinky way either but in a happy joyful way. 

I want to thank all my readers & one time visitors & people who just want to be noisy because what ever your intentions are for visiting it still makes me feel special :) 

I need to be more frequent on here. I feel like I have my funny self back after this last year of hiding.. & I think we are on hold for now on getting prego so I should have the energy &  time (well there is never enough time for anything with three small kids) to get back on here even if its just to share a funny story or conversation with my two year old. 

So this is one happy mama & this is just another reason as to why I am so lucky.. & why my blog name just rules because it just suits me.. The Lucky Mama.. xo

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

One Year

Today we will not morn the death of Sandra Kay & Sierra Jo Perry. Today we will celebrate Sandra's life & Sierra's time in the womb. My tears today will be happy tears remembering her grace, her love, her beauty. For I shall not live my life in darkness any longer. Today I place my heart over to the Lord asking for strength to love, accept & be at peace with this tragedy. Today I ask that you pray for my family, for our friends & for those who knew & loved our beautiful girls. Toady we shall spend our day remembering her, loving her & knowing that one day we shall meet again.

Let us pray in a moment of silence for Sandra Kay & Sierra Jo. Let us find strength to be at peace & open our hearts & release all sadness. For she would want us living a happy life & for them I will. For them I will never give up the faith & belief that Sandra & her baby girl Sierra are in a happier place full of love & laughter & that all sadness & hurt have been erased. For them I pray Amen 

RIP Sandra Kay Perry 12.25.1985 to 10.29.2012 Sierra Jo Perry 10.29.2012 to 10.29.2012



Sunday, October 13, 2013

Miracles


This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For all those fighting the silent battle, for those too afraid to walk away, for those who are waiting for the strength deep within you to take over.. just know that you have that fight & you can do this & that miracles do happen. Please don't ever stop believe that you are loved & that their is a beautiful life ahead of you away from the sadness, the darkness & tears. It is waiting for you & wanting you to move forward. 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

My Real Life ::Sigh::

My husband leaves at 6:30am & is rarely home before 8pm & works 5 days a week with 2 separate days off a week. I have a hard time getting out of bed before 9am even though my kids are up at 8ish. I shower maybe every other day if that. I hardly wear make up & my eye brows are never groomed. I wear a ton of workout close but honestly NEVER workout. I have issues with my weight & weigh myself every morning & track it in my weight book.. yes I am compulsive but it doesn't stop there I have anxiety, insomnia & horrible OCD. I hold in my sadness & cry when no one is around. Music has a weird way of getting emotion out of me & writing is the only way for me to express it. I have zero desire to stop being a stay at home mom but some days I feel I am failing at raising my girls the way I envisioned I would. I have to take Zolft daily because without it I am a nutcase. I recently quit smoking (unless drinking) & I hate it because I feel like it kept me sane on my bad days. Moving to Texas left me missing my friends & our old life but anxious for our new life to really start. People call me supermom but honestly I have a long list of todo's but continuously tell myself I can't. I love being a mom even though it's overwhelming at times & crazy enough I want just one more.. but not until we can financially afford it & are not living in a two bedroom apartment. I am learning to love me again, accept this tragic event that took apart of me away & accepting that all my close friends are hundreds of miles away. I am learning to build new friendships & allowing others in but you know what its damn hard. I am trying to just live in the moment & not overload my days with more then I can take on & make my days about the girls & less about keeping my mind busy. My husband is my rock, he believes in me & makes me feel like a super model.. for that I am forever the luckiest lady alive. I pray for the day I feel whole.. or normal.. but honestly I have no clue as to what that is.. but I am forever searching it seems. I have dreams & inspirations but I also know that in real life.. this is the most amazing life & I should stop saying the what ifs or ask when it is our turn because you know what we have a lot, even if its not much to most..because its everything to me.. & I need to remind myself of that more often.. life is good.. it may not always be great but I am learning that if I keep my faith strong & surround myself with others who are faithful I can & I will rise above this dark cloud that seems to keep me down most days. I need to thank the Lord for providing & guiding me to this life.. I have to stop living in the past & missing what was because this is what is now & this is my life.. & its time I start embracing it!

Sorry for this ramble.. sometimes I let my mind go I have to write it out.


ACTS


Please pray for me. I have a calling to go to this years Women's ACTS Retreat with my church. It's a three day three night Catholic-based retreat presented by fellow parishioners. The purpose is to provide an opportunity for retreatants to develop a deeper relationship with the Lord & fellow parishioners through Adoration and daily prayer; through community in one's parish as a member of the Body of Christ; through Theology or the teaching of our Catholic faith by encouraging more study; and , to instill a virtue of Service to our Lord, our parish and each other.

I feel that this is the time for me to attend. I feel like it will provide healing, acceptance & allow me spiritual growth. I want to take in the experience & feel God's love & Joy. I want to return to my parish with a deeper love for my parish & achieve my desire to become more involved in my parish faith & community.

This Retreat is November 21st- 24th & I am hoping that I find funds to attend. I am going to be contacting my church to see if I can be sponsored because even though its just $165 to attend, those funds are not available to me at this time to afford it at this time. This is only once a year & I pray I can attend & not have to wait until next year.

As most of you know I have been through a huge loss in my life & I need this retreat I feel it will play a huge roll in helping me forgive, heal & find peace with all of this. I feel like this is a huge step for me to leave my children, husband & comfort zone & attend this retreat not knowing anyone. I think it will help me build a stronger relationship with my church, my faith & help me to meet others in need of healing.

Please pray that I get sponsored & that I am able to attend.

ACTS is an acronym for Adoration, Community, Theology & Service. It's these 4 themes that are the focus of the activities during the weekend.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him; & he will make your path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Letter's To Kay Kay

Dear Kay,

Today is the first of October. This time last year I was anxiously awaiting my niece's arrival, you were super pregnant & ready to have her at any moment. I was taking you out weekly to keep your spirits up. We would go to Babies R Us or the craft store. I would buy you fast food because  the monster wouldn't let you eat it because he said you were too fat. We would laugh together, talk about your fears of becoming a mommy. We would make hair bows for our girls & talk about what Sierra would look like. We would talk about opening our own boutique & making sure our babies were together all the time & went to the same school. Our relationship was so close.. but now I look back & see I was blind.. & I didn't see the warning signs.

Here we are a year later & I am sitting here thinking of what would be. How life would & could have been so very different. We could all be here in Texas.. we could have you away from that horrible horrible monster. You would have your baby girl.. she would almost be a year old. We would have gone through so many silly moments & memories. Sierra would be the light of our lives & you would feel free & would have so much love around you.. & our hearts would not be so very broken.
This last year has been the hardest of our lives. Your dad & mom are lost without you. Rose misses you so much that talking about you breaks her. Joey needs his baby sister to talk to, to tease, to love & just to hug. Stephen can't even talk about you as though you are gone & Andrew is just so confused on what to do or say or feel. Lo & I, we are missing our other piece & Katie only gets to imagine what your relationship would be like but we all know you two would be so so close just like you are with Lo & I. I am not sure how your sisters are or Kyle but I know we are all lost. All your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces & nephews & friends weep for you. Our entire family lost two of the most important parts of our lives, you & Sierra. We wish for answers but can't seem to get answers we need to heal. We cry & yell & push each other away because no one comes close to you.. or the relationship we all had with you. Your smile is forever an imprint in our minds & our love for  you goes without say.

We all miss you Kay Kay.. we know you are always with us in spirit & we pray for you & know now you are at peace.. we love you with ever fiber of our being & we will not let your voice be silent & we will make sure your life & story be heard.

Your mom & girlfriends do a great job at helping others.. I don't know where they find the strength.. but I proud of what they are doing. I hope in time I can find a way to carry your story, share it & spread awareness to others who may be in this nightmare. I promise in time I will have strength to follow through with that promise.. I promise.

We love you my angels forever & always,
xoxo
Missy

"I miss all us kids being silly together.. laughing, loving.. but mostly I miss your beauty & grace & your amazing heart."


This month on October 29th marks a year since that monster took yours & your unborn babies life. This month is going to be the hardest to get through.. but with prayer, family & friends I will push through. I know I have to suck up the sadness & start spreading awareness. For you I will always fight & for you I will never stop spreading awareness to this silent & deadly killer.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Vegan Ginger Cookies

Ingredients:
  • 2 cups of unbleached all purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 1 cup vegan can sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup of Earth Balance (vegan butter) room temperature
  • 1/2 cup of organic applesauce
  • 2 tablespoons molasses
  • 2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger

Preparation:

  1. In a medium bowl shift the flour. Then add the nutmeg, cinnamon & baking powder.
  2. In a separate bowl beat the sugar & earth balance until fluffy. Then add the applesauce, molasses, vanilla extract & ginger. Beat for about 1 minute. 
  3. Add the flour mixture to the other ingredients & stir slowly not to over stir. 
  4. Place in refrigerator for 1 hour.
  5. Lightly grease your cookie sheet & set the oven to 350〫F 
  6. Place cookies on a sheet with spoon & flatten but don't make them too thin.
  7. Bake on the middle rack for 8-10 minutes.
  8. Let cool for 5 minutes then place on baking rack & let cool.
  9. Then Indulge.. they are amazing!!!
      




Tuesday, September 24, 2013

My Growing Girls

July 2012: Gabbie 18 months, Emma 3 months & Shiloh 3 years old

October 2012: Gabbie 21 months, Emma 6 months & Shiloh 4 years old

 September 2013: Shiloh 5 years old, Gabbie 2.5 years old & Emma 17 months old

My little princesses. They all have their own beauty, personalities & are all such amazing blessings. They make life worth every second & bring so much joy.. even on the days where they are constantly fighting, misbehaving & driving me to want to head to the nearest store for some liquor & cigarettes just to relieve some stress ha! But I ain't got time for that cause I have to cook dinner now, bath them & read bedtime stories.. so instead I will settle for a nice shower & some Chicago Fire!!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

The More The Merrier

When we found out we were pregnant just 6 months after having our second Gabriella most people thought we were crazy..

I heard comments such as "you are setting yourself up for crazy"; "you will have your hands full"; "how will you afford two kids in diapers"; " how will you have time for 3 kids under the age of 3"; "poor Gabbie she won't get that time with you that she deserves"?
People even talked behind our backs making mean comments saying we are selfish & that our kids would be deprived of love.. I know its horrible!! It hurt me, really bad but I looked to God & I knew he blessed us with these babies because he knew we could handle the task & that we had enough love for all our babies.
Our girls ALL love each other, their Daddy & ME.. I know surprising!! There is no lack their of or sad children. There is only love & laughter.. in fact my two youngest who are 15 months apart have the closest relationship.. & a connection that is too cute..
Gabbie is not loved less nor is Shiloh & Emma most certainly is not left out.. they all love each other & have special bonds with each other..
They all have something so true & rare.. a love that speaks without words..
They are my beautiful girls & I couldn't be happier to have them in my life.. & even though people will talk & say negative things I have come to realize.. they don't know me.. or us or the love we have in our home.. they don't know that my girls laugh more then they cry, love more then they argue & have beautiful minds that are so smart, caring & compassionate. They not only teach me.. they make me a better person.. & I could not be more honored to be their mother.. & if we have one more, (shame on me) that is just another miracle, another blessing that God has chosen for us & he is the only person who decides our journey & what we will be given. So judge a way.. because it will not rain on our love or happiness.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

FIVE

In January of 2008 I received news that I was expecting a baby.. forever my life had changed. Stephen & I married short after on May 10th 2008.
On May 12th 2008 I found out I was going to be blessed with a beautiful baby girl, but honestly I didn't need an ultra sound to tell me that I new from the instant I found out I was going to be a mom that I was going to be blessed with a little princess. 
In July of 2008 we decided we would name our baby Shiloh Rose. Shiloh means "His Gift" which is more true then any other words I have ever heard. Rose is her Gammy's name & together it rings beautifully. 

On September 29th at 2:23am with my Husband & My Best Friend by my side to laugh & cry with me..
after 8 hours of labor & 3 pushes, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world..
& forever our lives where changed. She has brought us so many amazing memories & emotions..
love..
joy..
 magic..
compasion..
& beauty..
you are a true daddy's girl & you will always be momma's bestest friend. You make our days full, bright & beautiful. You were the best suprise we ever received & you truely are a gift from God! Happy Fifth Birthday to My Shiloh Rose Monkey Princess!!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Throw Back Thursday

One year ago today I had a 5 month old. She was just starting to army crawl around our house. She was alert & making all kinds of cooing sounds..
she just found that she could suck on her toes & she was simply breathtaking.. she was & still is my baby girl.. but

Now she is running around, getting into things, babbling all day long & being one silly little thing.. they grow fast.. too fast & makes this momma super busy & yet so grateful every second.
She is my Emmie.. my tough girl & my little cuddle bug. I love my babies & I want one more.. some think I am crazy.. but me I think its always been my dream to have 4 beautiful miracles running around causing chaos in our home.. & I know I can take one the challenge. But we will see what God has planned for us.. baby maybe or maybe I am just suppose to have three.. we shall see.. only time will tell. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Help Ethan Get To Disney

Meet Ethan.. he is a loving, fun & cute as a button 3 year old..

Since he was a baby he has suffered from seizure's & has had slow development as well with speech & other areas. His momma has been taking him to doctor after doctor searching for answers as to why her baby was having these problems. For years answers where not giving & a diagnoses was unknown. Earlier this year she finally received answers & found out little Ethan has Epilepsy. He now has to take daily medication & seek therapy to help with his delayed development. This isn't something that happens once in a while its a daily challenge & seizure's come at anytime.

Disneyland is having a Epilepsy Awareness Day & Ashley, Ethan's mom is doing everything she can to get him there to be with other children who also have this condition for him to see he is not alone & for her to meet other parents going through the same struggles.

I write this blog to ask all of my blog readers, friends & family to please take a moment & help this little guy get to Disney by donating to his cause. Every penny counts & it would mean so much to this family to be able to participate in this event & put a smile on his face that will priceless.

If you wish to donate please visit his site by CLICKING HERE or copying the URL below.
http://www.gofundme.com/48zsro

Thursday, August 29, 2013

You Are Missed

Nighttime seems to be the worst part of the day for me lately. I find myself unable to sleep & my mind filled with wonder. Last night I stayed up late uploading photo's.. at the end I asked myself if I dare go through photo's of Sandra. Well I did & about 3 minutes into it I started balling.. my heart just can't fathom idea that I/we have to live this life without her. I am still so angry.. how could he do this? How could he be so selfish? Her beauty her grace was magical to see.. her laughter contagious.. her love strong, true & warming. I miss her.. I miss our fights.. our disagreements.. our silly jokes.. our oh duh moments.. I miss going to baseball games, concerts, girls night & just laid back days at home. I just miss her.. even if I never was able to talk or touch her again I would give anything just to know she was here on earth.. that would be okay.. because I would know she was able to live her life.. she would be that amazing momma, she would still giggle, be silly & her glow would still brighten someones day.

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"The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides." -Audrey Hepburn

I know healing takes time. I know that in time I will cry less & my heart won't feel so broken.. but to be honest right now that moment doesn't seem like it will ever come because this is just not something one can ever get over. I ask God to guide me & to lift me up when I am weak but I know he is telling me "it's okay to cry, it's okay to be angry" but he is also telling me "its not okay to stop living, to stop laughing & to stop letting others in" I need to learn to live life without her & know that even though I can't see her or feel her touch.. she is with me always in my heart. 

No matter how angry I am or hurt, I know there are others hurting just as bad or worse. I know that we all are trying to move forward & find the beauty in things again. If I could have just one wish.. it would be to hug & squeeze her & Sierra just one last time & tell them just how much I love them & how much they are missed.

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"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. You heard me say to you, ‘I am going away, and I will come to you.’ If you loved me, you would have rejoiced, because I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. And now I have told you before it takes place, so that when it does take place you may believe." -John 14:27-29

Monday, August 19, 2013

God's Way




Yesterday at Church we discussed how people always want to blam or point fingers at others when their life is not in a happy place or when things turn south. We talked about how sometimes you have to take blame for your actions & admit when you are wrong. Sometimes you have to make the change to a better life & you have to be the first to admit faults in order for things to get better. Somtimes not everything in life goes according to plan & in reality you are the only one who controls your life & the path you are on. So if you don't like how things are or the outcome of a choice you made or are waiting for change.. change your plan, accept fault & get off your butt & do something about it. God has a plan for all of us. He guides us & his plan is Perfect, we just need to grasp hold of it & accept it & appreciate the journey, grow from it & learn. We are not perfect, we all have faults & we all sin & that is okay GOD loves all of us & accepts all of us. Do not dwell on the things that have or that are hurting us. We can not let the past ruin our present.. we can only grow from it & build a better future.

My faults are many, my once happy self a little lost, my faith shattered from tragidy.. but slowly I am fining & accepting my faults, my pain & saddness. I am trying to make change in myself, for my future & to be a better person then I was or am. Not just for me but for my family, friends & others around me.. for I am a sinner & I am also a good person & I will always stay true to me.

"God's Way is Perfect" Psalm 18:30

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

How I Survive Staying Home

As most of you know I am a stay at home mom & I have been for the last 5 years. I love being home with my babies.. I love watching them growing, teaching them & spending as much time with them as possible. It's truly a gift that I am not thankful for enough. I have days were I am pulling out my hair.. literally because no matter how much I clean or tell the girls to pick up.. it never gets done & stays done. Most people think staying home is not a job.. well I have a million other parents to back me up when I say its probably the most stressful, hardest & yet the most rewarding job you will ever have.
My kids seem to control things here.. I know some think that is crazy & that I have lost my mind but hey.. I pick my battles & cleaning constantly is something I just give up on. We have three kids.. three girls that means three times the mess.. so no matter how often I clean I have at least one little one behind me taking things back out. It's life.. I am just a momma trying to survive in a toddler filled world.. so here are some tips on how to NOT LOSE your cool if you decided to be a stay at home mom..


#1 ALWAYS ALWAYS have at least 2 bottles of wine on hand.. you never know when you are going to drink an entire bottle after the kids go to bed

#2 Make sure you you try to get at least 6 hours of sleep each night.. my kids are up between 7am & 8 am so if I decided to stay up late this is what I look like in the morning.. but coffee is my savor even on days when I do get enough sleep.. it just gets me motivate & happy.. & leaves me Bright, cheerful & one happy momma...
So parents its vital to have that coffee.. & I honestly didn't start drinking regular coffee until this year.. I was a latte junky for years.

#3 Make shopping trips fun & go to kid friendly places.. I love going to Whole Foods.. not just because the food is amazing but because they all love my kids.. & they have cute shopping carts that let the girls help mommy with shopping (just make sure you are far enough ahead that heals aren't being run over cause that is no fun)

#4 Go to the movies during the week. Most stat at home mom's are their with their kids & yes their babies so it makes it easier to have even the baby with us.. plus its cheaper during the day on weekdays. We try to go at least once or twice a month.

#5 Find something creative to do that can help distress during nap time. I love to sew & to make things. I also have people buy my blankets too which brings in extra money.. momma money hehe

#6 Make sure to have a girls night at least once a month. I admit I am horrible about doing this because I feel guilty but serious once I do get out even if its just for an hour I feel a million times better..

#7 Have at least one of your kids (if not all of them) in a sport, dance or gym class. It gives you 30 min to an hour to sit & relax & savor the moment as your child glows.. I know its spendy but their are free kids activities in your area I am sure you just have to find them.

Ps: this is actually something good not just for you but your child as well. It makes them interact with other children their ages & gives you some mommy & me time.

#8 Date night.. I can't stress this enough.. it is vital to have a date night at least twice a month!! The hubby & I never had the chance to have many of these before we moved to Texas. Now we make it a point to get out together & have time. We go out at night or we have day dates. When we get the opportunity we jump on it & you should too

#9 Get out doors as much as possible & on the days that are just too hot & miserable go to the pool & wear them out & get your tan on..


#10 Take lots & lots of pictures.. cherish these moments because you can't get them back.. so yell less & laugh more, worry about the small stuff later & take in the mess because before you know it they will be grown & you will have an empty house &that is not a day I am looking forward to.. not yet at least..

I know their are a lot of other ways to making staying home stress free & fun & even though I didn't post all of my ways I wanted to share the most important ones with you. I would love to hear what you do to make being a stay at home parent pleasant?

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Learning to Budget

So since we have lived the dream we want it back. I am the one who works the budget & pays the bills yada yada.. but I will be honest I haven't been very good at it. We have struggled due to over spending, splurging on unnecessary items &dinning out..

Well that is all changing!!! I found this Blog Easter Shore Mom

& she created a budget that I have been searching for & it has made me one Honestly Happy Momma! I have tried to create my own & have lived off one for years but it was more of an online check book vs. a budget. Here is her blog post link with the budget I am using now. Free Budget Template From Eastern Shore Mom

So now every week I am saving money!! We pay our bills & put what ever is left (as long as it  over $50) into savings. If we need spending money we take it out of our savings not our checking. That is last resort because now my new way of having spending money is from cash we have from returns or that is given to us. If we we receive a gift card we put it in our coupon (we can talk more about coupons later) book to use when needed. Now I try to keep cash out of my wallet unless we need it that day.. but I have come to realize if I have it in my wallet I spend it. So I put all extra change & cash into my mason jar & it goes in the cabinet. 

We had more cash on hand but after Stephen's Birthday on Friday it was spent at dinner. But usually I have about $40 in my cash jar. We use that for eating out or if I am in the mood for a good garage sale treasure day. But this is were it goes  this is were it stays. 

Now with gift cards we usually get those for Christmas & Birthdays but we don't get to spend them right away because most of them are for resturants, the movies or department stores & well we just aren't able to use them right away.. being that we have 3 yong children.  So they come in handy when we can use them.. & its kind of nice because if it is the spur of the moment then I don't have to budget any out of savings.

Also I do have $100 emergency cash stashed away for medical emergencies only. It's not for anything other then that. I only did $100 because that is our co-pay for emergency rooms. But I am going to keep adding to it so that we have at least $5000 in cash stashed for medical emergencies because medical bills can add up.

Now one thing I always do is round up everything going out & round down everything going in. So if Stephen's pay check is $946.25 then I round it to $940 the extra is left in our checking for back up. Now if we get bonus checks or checks that are unexpected then I instantly put those in savings. If its enough to pay a credit card I put what I need for that credit card into checkings & the rest into savings & pay that credit card or loan that day no waiting. Money sitting means money that could be spent on nonsense.

Now I am also a PhotographerIndepenent Creative Consultant for Initials Inc, I am a blanket maker & Independent Consultant for Scentsy.  I used to use our money for any expense realted stuff for that & I would always have my paychecks or money earned go to our checking account. Well not anymore. I have a seperate bank account for that. All money coming in or going out comes from that. I also have a credit card I use for business only. So for instance I had to buy a new camera sine my D3100 too a turn for the worst. That was money I hadn't planned on spending but since I had money on my cedit card I use for business I was able to buy a new one. Now I pay that credit card with my earned money. But if I am not making any money (which happens because its rough out there to gain business) I have to use our own money to pay it which stinks but it is what it is. But keep it all seperate for the most part so that its not confused. I don't make enough now to pay myself so it all just stays in that account.

So these are just a few of my Honest Money saving ways & budgeting. I will add more to this series when new tricks come in. I hope some of my ways help you.

Now you may ask why all the strict budgeting & no spending rules well because I want to own again. I want to create rooms for my girls that fit their personalities & give them their own space. I want to paint & plant & have something we pay a huge chunk of change on to be OURS!! I don't want to rent anymore & my girls to share rooms, I don't want to hear my neighbors walking upstairs or wonder if my below neighbor is going crazy from little feet above them. I just want a simple home of our own.. & this is the house we have our goals set on..

My HONEST RULE:  is we can't buy or build until we have all our loans, credit cards & at least Stephen's car paid off. So we have a ways to go before we can take pride in home ownership, so for now I will take pride in our budget & savings plan.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Mad Monday's

So I was plainning on writing a reveiw on a company I just purchased some really cute wooden toys from. But they failed in their customer service department so all I will say is shame on them & never again will they receive an order from me. I will say I was very happy with the items that I did receive but wish they could provide a better service when a $10 item is missing from the order.

Anyways its one of those days.. one where your kids are miserable, nothing is going right & you just want to go back to bed & retry for a better day.

Monday Madness is what I will call today.Woke up at 8am to my 2 year old, then my 4 year old started crying because she had to lay next to me.. so we just got up. Made breakfast, had coffee & played a bit with the girls. Then at 11am I went to make lunch & the bread I just bought yesterday was molded so I packed us up & went back to the store to exchange it. Well that didn't happen. Gabbie threw one of her two year old tantrums..  I was that lady in the store with her child screaming & using so much strength I could barely hold her. So we rushed out.. she had me almost in tears because I was so embarrassed.. drove home breadless.. & had to listen to her scream.. the entire way..

Then we arrived home & she was still screaming so I made lunch & put them to bed.

I then started my phone calls that I needed to make. First was to the Store I was talking about above, I am still so shocked & disturbed by the customer service I received. Have you ever just had someone be plan rotten to you? Well to sum up the conversation I had I will just say I was told that I did receive something that I infact did not & that they have thousands of customers so pretty much they don't need me. If I would have known they would be so unpleasent to work with I would have never ordered from them.. in fact I would have never unpacked my box, I would have just sent it right back. Don't companies realize that their customer service should be top notch!! One bad experiance can take away customers & potential customers. Anyways so this incedent has just put me in a very sour mood & honestly all I can think of doing right now is taking a nap as well, in hopes that I wake up feeling better about the day so far. When people are mean to me it really hurts me.. I am so sensitive.. ugh WHY?

On a positive note Emma's blood work came bsack normal. Iron is good, lead levels are normal & soo was everything else, I can breath now.

Ps I need to send this company this book.. maybe they will learn something..

Friday, July 26, 2013

Homemade Gifts

First I want to say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to the best man I know. My best friend & the most amazing father! He works so hard for his family to provide & gives so much love to us. I am truly blessed! 

So yesterday while running errands I came across this little gem (at Target) I had a bright idea...

I jumped on my computer & drew this up in Photoshop & this is what the finished product looks like.. LOVE!!

Then it was time for Shiloh & I to make daddy's Birthday Card...


What we used:
Cotton Balls
Scrap Paper
Construction
Stickers
Scrapbook Letters
Glue Stick



She was so proud to help me craft :)

Then this morning we all got up at 6:15am the girls were up a by 6:30am. I made my hubby a pancake breakfast, coffee & sandwhiches for lunch. Shiloh was up first to deliever her card & to have morning talks with her daddy..

Then my younger two were up & readdy to eat.. well at least Emma was (who by the way is back to her norm after a sick day yesterday)

Tonight the girls are off to Papa's & Nana's & we are going out to celebrate 33 years of a great loving man.

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